


Technoblade fucks a potato

by cherryf3r3t



Series: Food Fic [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Butter as lube, Crack Treated Seriously, How Do I Tag, I am the Ceo of Potato Fuckers what did you expect???, Knotting, Masturbation, Mmmmm, Other, Piglin Hybrid Dave | Technoblade, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Potatoes, Public Masturbation, Self-Indulgent, Sex Pollen, Sex Potato, Tags Are Hard, Techno fucks a potato, The Author Regrets Nothing, except its actually a potato with sex butter lube, potato used as fleshlight, techno is sex starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryf3r3t/pseuds/cherryf3r3t
Summary: In the sweltering heat of his garden, a glimpse of a peculiarly large potato tempts Techno to do the unthinkable...
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade/Potatoes
Series: Food Fic [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175159
Comments: 56
Kudos: 223





	Technoblade fucks a potato

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Aries and Kyle :)) mwah mwah /p

It had been a long day, Techno removed his leather gloves and wiped the sweat from his brow. He squinted his eyes, staring at the wet skin and then off into the distance where the sun had finally begun to set. A cool breeze whizzed through him, making his cotton shirt stick to his chest, but the way it felt on his skin was better anyway. 

He untied his hair from its bun and retied it up into a ponytail. And with a shake of his head, he continued to farm. Farming in his potato fields was a very calming experience for him. Not always fighting or planning for war or anarchy. Sometimes it was just hoeing at the ground and watering and digging up the ones ready for harvest. Techno was ready to go back inside when he spotted the strange potato he had dug up early that day. The potato looked just like any other potato but it was larger than most of his others, and it just had a strange vibe to it. But that was in the middle of the day when the sun was at its peak and the heat was at its strongest. Of course, it was still sweltering hot but at least not like before.

Techno walked over to the wheelbarrow where he tossed the potato when he found it and picked it up. It felt warm, which was slightly odd but Techno just counted it off from it being in the sun all day. He looked at it more and sniffed it, it smelled cooked? He raised his brows baffled at it, even more so when a buttery smell reached his nose and it flared.

He accidentally slipped his fingers into a hole the potato had inside of it, pulling them out he saw the yellowish buttery substance that covered them and the outside of this strange potato. Even stranger is the thought he had, _What if I fucked it?_ , Techno looked around his garden and didn't think he would have any visitors this late or at this area of this residence. Maybe it was the heat that was getting to him all day, even though that would be impossible; the overworld heat can't even compare to the nether. 

Techno licked his lips and chuckled to himself, he was gonna regret this. He plopped down in a patch of soft lush grass, fit for what he was planning to do, and continued to inspect the potato. The hole at the bottom was warm and when he stuck his fingers in it again, it seemed to stretch. _Perfect._

Techno unbuckled his belt and unzipped the front of his pants. Maybe he was too eager to put his dick inside a fucking root vegetable but it's not his fault he hasn't been getting any. He feels his mind get hazy from the buttery scent but he quickly snaps out of it when he puts some of the liquid on his cock, it tingles and makes him feel warm and good and there's more of where that came from in the potato.

He gets excited, grinning ear to ear, and panting at the same time. He stroked himself slowly wanting to get hard as quickly as possible but make himself last long too. He breathes slowly and steadily as he holds himself, the puckering little hole of the potato just barely above the head of his cock. He caves in to the temptation and presses himself into it, and he for the first time, audibly gasps.

It's very warm and tight, and _fuck_ does it feel good. He shivers even though it's warm, the buttery substance drips all down his cock and he can't help fuck thrust himself deeper into it. He wants to go as deep as he can and feel it more. The sensation is quite interesting he has to admit though, it's hot and slippery and wet inside and even though he just put himself in, he wants to cum so bad.

Techno flicks his wrist, making sure he has a firm grasp on the potato and he fucks it. He watches his cock go in and out and he gets more and more aggressive with it. He wants to fuck it harder, he hears the squelching of the melted butter that's now all over his hands and legs, he can only think about how the inside feels like how mashed potatoes would probably feel too. 

Techno felt himself about to cum, he knew it would be early but he'd also been fucking a potato. He wanted to knot it too but could the potato even handle a knot? Would it break and crumble? Techno didn't care and took both hands and moved them down faster.

He lolled his head back, his breaths fast and heavy in the air, his legs shook as he continued with both hands constantly moving. His eyes fluttered and crossed as he came. His knot grew inside the potato and Techno almost doubled over. For some reason, the stimulation was even greater than it was before. 

He gritted his teeth and braced a hand on the ground, his eyes half-lidded and breath shaky, he began to try and fuck it again but growled when he couldn't move it. The knot was too big for him to move his hand but the potato kept working wonders on him and he came again. The tingling sensation wouldn't stop and it was like there was a constant buzz on his dick. _And he loved it._

He especially loved it when his knot deflated and he saw all his cum drip out of it mixed with the melted butter. Unfortunately, the sweet butter scent had disappeared and the warmth from the potato had left, but something had told Techno in his head that there would be more of these strange potatoes. _And he'd definitely be around to fuck them again._

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways I hope you enjoyed that beautiful masterpiece :))


End file.
